Republican Del Marsh singlehandedly passed the infamous Alabama Accountability Act in 2013 that has diverted $145 million from the state’s public schools and has done nothing to help struggling schools.  Now he has launched another sneak attack on public schools by insisting the Alabama College and Career Ready standards (which he once supported wholeheartedly) do not work either and calling for the state to “eat” the millions of dollars spent on putting them in place.

But wait, he’s not through.

This time he is going after the football program at the University of Alabama.  He wants wholesale changes and far more accountability than the program now has and is developing legislation that he says will result in the perfect football program and avoid the “embarrassment” of last Jan. 7 when the University lost the national championship game to Clemson, 44-12.

Marsh says he is sick and tired of seeing the highest paid football coach in the country (Nick Saban makes $8.3 million a year) get beat on national TV while Alabama becomes the laughing stock of the country..

When questioned by a reporter about his experience in coaching and running major football programs, Marsh pointed out that he knows as much about football as he does about education and believes experience is vastly over-rated in both coaching and running schools.

Marsh believes that a football program with endless resources like the one in Tuscaloosa should settle for nothing less than perfection.  He points out that this fall Bama will pay10 football assistant coaches $7.5 million, an increase of $1.4 million from 2018.  And this comes fresh on the heels of the school losing the biggest game it had ever played.

Nick Saban has coached in Tuscaloosa for 12 seasons.  Yet, he has only had one undefeated season.  Senator Marsh doesn’t think this is good enough.  He points out that Coach Bear Bryant coached 25 years in Tuscaloosa and had three undefeated seasons.  Bryant’s salary in his final year was only $450,000.

Marsh contends that we should roll back the clock with the university’s football program just as he is trying to do with Alabama schools.  He intends to pass legislation that will do just this.  For instance it may say that the team can only use the wishbone offense or can not throw more than ten passes in a game.

When reporters pressed Marsh to detail how much success the Alabama Accountability Act has brought to state schools, he chastised them for bringing up meaningless details.

Editor’s note: Hopefully readers will quickly see that this is satire.  However, the point being made–that Senator Marsh has no better understanding of what challenges education faces than he does about Coach Saban’s football program–is no less valid.